Friday, April 9, 2010

Dick Pics explained!

Through careful study of Why Women Hate Men (terrible title, entertaining blog), I've figured out why guys send hideous dick pictures to women. It's because when women say that they want cock, men are taking this literally, and offering proof that yes, they have a cock, and are thus 100% qualified to meet this need.

I also blame certain porn genres where women show up perfectly groomed and perfectly submissive and of a specific body type, and men... show up. Talk about low expectations. You just have to prove that you're a man, right?

While I'm blaming things, I blame the weird hyper-homophobia that makes guys go "well, I can't tell if that looks good or not, I don't like cocks," which, well--straight women don't go around in sack dresses with matted hair because "how am I supposed to know what looks good on a woman?"

And I blame ignorance about how photography works. I think some people think that a picture of an object is a picture of it, and that any photo of their cock is equally attractive because it's the same cock every time. The idea that staging and lighting can make two equally "honest" pictures give very different impressions seems to be a little too advanced for certain people.

Which leads to my final source of blame, which is plain old rampant stupidity. Seriously, dudes of the world, if someone wants to see your cock they'll ask. How about you wait for that and go from there.




(Now I feel weird that I've posted pictures of my, um, lady-cock. But I do warn what they are rather than mailing them around to anybody who contacts me, and I do try to make them non-hideous photos.)

(Now I feel like "lady-cock" is either the best or the worst female-genitals euphemism ever.)

9 comments:

  1. (Now I feel like "lady-cock" is either the best or the worst female-genitals euphemism ever.)

    Yes. Yes it is. You've managed to rob me of my sleep. Thanks.

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  2. ^ That's right up there with the phrase "boy pussy", and no, I did not make that up either. Ew! *shudders*

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  3. I always thought a boy pussy was a butt, though.

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  4. Holly, I'll happily send a 'dick pic' to any woman...who wants it. The idea of sending it randomly just seems a little ridiculous. I don't really understand it. But hell, I'm a weird SOB, I guess, judging by the amount of dick pics women seem to get.

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  5. The weird thing is, I polled a bunch of dudes on OKCupid once, asking which they'd rather get from a woman: a picture of her naked body, or a big ol' closeup beaver shot. EVERYONE preferred the former. So why can't they figure out that women mostly want the same thing?

    Hey, let me ask something I've been wondering: who here thinks that women are truly "less visual" than men, and who here thinks the real issue is that we just like different visuals?

    I mean: it's easy for people to say that women aren't "visual" because we don't slobber all over naked pics of men...but most of said naked pics were probably taken by men who were either catering to gay dudes or imitating what straight men enjoy but with genders reversed, and so the body types/ aesthetics/etc., just aren't what most women would go for.

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  6. When you say "lady cock" do you mean your cunt, or do you mean some rather more phallic accoutrement?

    Because you say "lady cock" and I think "feeldoe?"

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  7. I think 'lady cock' shots are magnificent and there is clearly a demand for pictures of them out there (if the blog 'The S Spot' is anything to go by). Likewise I like cock shots, but I may be in the minority (as a bi-male).

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  8. @RobertM: I think you are quite right, women do like a different kind of visual, a different kind of porn than men. And yeah, a lot of what's out there really doesn't appeal to me. Though, I have this book, that my future husband bought me. It's by a gay male photographer, and it's cocks, chests, tummies, thighs, and yummy hairy men. Can you tell I like it? I think some gay men get it *exactly* right. :)

    On the subject of cock shots: I've gotten a few, and seen a few around various dating/community websites. I *never* like them. They are always garish - badly lit, badly angled, and frankly, unasked for. I like looking at cock, don't get me wrong, but I don't want it thrust on me! It's like walking down the street and flashing someone, it's just not a good idea, no matter now nice the view is!

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  9. While I'm blaming things, I blame the weird hyper-homophobia that makes guys go "well, I can't tell if that looks good or not, I don't like cocks," which, well--straight women don't go around in sack dresses with matted hair because "how am I supposed to know what looks good on a woman?"

    Ah, but you have a bit of a cheat sheet known as every piece of media everywhere ever. I not only don't natively now what makes a cock look good (beyond "keep your toilet out of the shot"), I don't have as many examples as you have of women's fashion.

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