Monday, March 2, 2009

Articles people sent me.

[previous post deleted because upon further consideration, I was wrong]

George Will: Prudes at Dinner, Gluttons in Bed
The gist of this article is that Americans are getting more uptight about food as we get sluttier. It's not actually true--most people I know (and let's face it, in the absence of an actual study or survey all of these type of articles are really just about people the author knows) eat processed goo and have monogamous relationships--but let's not trouble ourselves too much with that.

I'm more bothered by the implication that this would be a bad thing. Will seems to be writing as if food and sex are equally evil. I'd say that neither is evil at all, but as far as physical harm, well... there's no way to have safe cake.

In 1965, the Moynihan Report sounded an alarm about 23.6 percent of African American children born out of wedlock. Today the figure for the entire American population is 38.5 percent, and 70.7 percent for African Americans.
So? I was born out of wedlock. My parents lived together and raised me jointly for eighteen years, but they weren't married. My roommate was also born out of wedlock, and her dad didn't stick around--her mom did a great job raising her and she's turned out just fine. "Out of wedlock" doesn't always mean unwanted, neglected, or on welfare; and it doesn't ever mean doomed.

(Also, psst, your racism is showing.)

Alas, expiration is written into the leases we have on our bodies, so bon appetit.
Well jeez, if we're playing the "you're gonna die anyway" game, I might as well have some fun on my way to the grave, so bonne baise!

BitchBuzz: Gamestop Thinks Women Know Nothing About Gaming
Honestly, this one would bother me more if Gamestop showed any particular care for their male customers either. But it's just a shitty store that combines horrible selection with gouge prices and obnoxious marketing no matter what gender you are. Thirty bucks for a scratched used disk with no case and then the cashier does three mandatory upsell attempts...

That said, even allowing for some sarcasm, a "safari" theme is perhaps not the wisest way to discuss female customers. I mean, cripes, there've gotta be some female Gamestop employees, and they must've felt awkward as hell watching this.

Brown Sugar: Pussy is Not the Greatest Gift You Can Give a Man
Preach it, sister.

There's only one sentence in the article I'd quibble with:
No one knows what’s best for you and your sex life then you do.
(Hmm, that's not very grammatical. Two quibbles.) I agree that no one else knows better than me, but frankly: I don't know what the hell I'm doing! There's no grand master plan to this shit! I don't know that I'd be happier monogamous or polyamorous or married or 90-day-ruling or virginal! I just... do things. I mean, things that seem okay at the time, but it's really some insane combination of what I want, what various guys want, my mood at the microsecond, whether I had chili for lunch, the confluence of random influences and opportunities, and eeny meeny miney moe.

I'm in charge of my own sex life, no question about that, but just because I can steer this thing doesn't mean I have any damn idea where I'm driving it.


  1. lol.

    Pardon the grammatical error. Been trying to fix it but can't quite seem to say what I want to say in a more grammatical fashion...but you get the point.

    - Brown Sugar

  2. Brown Sugar - I do indeed, and I hope this was clear but I seriously loved your article.

  3. Well.

    Only a perverted Godless ignoramous would equate safe sex with safe cake. Studies by the National Institutes of Health confirm that barrier methods are imperfect protection from sexually transmitted diseases during intercourse, and that cake is delicious.

    George Will

    P.S. Some of my best friends are negroes.

  4. I got into an hour-long debate with a professor over the "born out of wedlock" issue last week. He couldn't grasp the concepts that a) born out of wedlock does not mean there is only one parent in a child's life, and b) even if it does, it does not mean the child is disadvantaged and doomed to failure.

  5. "Disadvantaged" and "doomed to failure" are not equivalent. A kid with only one parent is not doomed to failure, but a kid with two good parents has a decided advantage over a kid with one good parent.

    This is a little like the guys who tell you that Judo or Karate or whatever is a mystical art and size and strength mean nothing. In the real world, a good small guy can beat a bad big guy, but a good big guy will beat a good small guy a lot more than 9 times out of ten.

    And the greatest gift you can give a man is a Cylinder & Slide M2008 Historical Pocket Model .45 . . . . but there are actually men out there who don't realize this, so get to know a man before you put out the cash.